Quarreling…..It means to cause dispute, complaint or hostile feeling. It’s like a whirlwind of words, uncontrolled. I wanted to discuss this topic because it has been a constant reminder in my life to fight against. When I read the book of Proverbs, which is a great staple, if not total reference book of instruction to do this, I always come across the scriptures similar to this on:
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 25:24)
Twice it mentions how it’s better to live on the corner of a roof, than to share a house with a quarreling woman lol Almost every time I read it, I laugh lol. I think God has a sense of humor and in this case, He’s as serious as he is funny. It’s a real issue and it has to be shunned as children of God. Quarreling isn’t the only thing that is nailed in Proverbs; so is gossip, slander, and other ills of the mouth. God also shows His disagreement with complaint and dissension in Numbers 12, when Miriam talked about Moses, (the one who led them out of Egypt) to his right hand man, Aaron. He punished her for 7 days and made a public example out of her. God hates dissension. God hates complaining, therefore we have to fight against the very thing that so easily becomes of us if we don’t guard our ears and speech against it. Today I want to share examples of complaining, gossip and quarreling and where it can fit in our lives in the area of friends, family and coworkers.
This one is your colleagues. This one has always been applied to my life because for some reason, Gossip and complaining has found its way into the workplace. Because of that, it matters who you associate yourself with at work. If your coworkers are more like the Department of Gossip or the Cynic Committee, then you need to change your circle. I have a favorite quote that says “the difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is your attitude”. It sticks with me all the time when I’m tempted to complain about responsibilities, which is why I’m challenged to give thanks in all circumstances; (1 Thessalonians 5:18) I admit, Its awkward at times being the new girl who has to make it clear with actions that you’re not interested in talking about your colleague; or joining in the pity party about why things aren’t going right. However, at the end of the day, our ways are in full view of the Lord. It’s then when I’m reminded to not just be a light at home or in church, but at work too.
This is your inner circle. Your friends both new and old that you let in your life. This area has definitely grown through the years because of the fact that I wasn’t always saved and applying His word to my life. Before Christ, I enjoyed gossip. I had friends who loved it too and we would get together in person or on the phone and have flat out “tea time”. I remember being in Groupme chats and text groups that was majority gossip, filled with screen shots and social daily news of a person’s shortcomings or secrets. It’s pathetic, but unfortunately a mind not renewed with Christ will do what the world does. After I gave my life to Christ, it became clear that what I was doing was wrong. I started to get this weird, sharp, sad feeling after I said too much about someone or laughed at a situation that wasn’t funny. It was called conviction. So because He chastens those He loves, He led me to read proverbs. Afterwards, I noticed a drastic change in my character, friendships, and conversations.
This deals with family. I'd like to believe that just because we're family, that I wouldn’t have to guard my ear and eye gates against quarreling but it’s not true. The truth is everyone isn't as positive or prudent as you'd like them to be. I don't believe its people’s intentions, but it’s just that sometimes you can't give what you don't possess. It’s a scene in the movie Cinderella that I love that explains it well. It was when the prince asked Cinderella how they (her stepmom and sisters) treated her, and she responded "they treat me as well as they're able"... Not once did Cinderella do the same thing, she just remembered her mother’s advice "Have courage and be kind". Though it’s a child's story, I believe she walked out what it meant to love your enemies.
Those are my examples of how this plays out in life. I encourage you to take inventory in your own life and ask God to help clean out all that is unlike him, in or around you, according to His word.
Until next time,